The Tired Cyclist

A tired cyclist stuck his thumb out for a lift: After 3 hours, hadn’t got anyone to stop. Finally, a guy in a sports car pulled over and offered him a ride. But the bike wouldn’t fit in the car. The driver got some rope out of the trunk and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the rider: “If I go too fast, ring your bell and I’ll slow down.”

Everything went well until another sports car blew past them. The driver forgot all about the cyclist and put his foot down. A short distance down the road, they hammered through a speed trap.
The cop with the radar gun and radioed ahead that he had 2 sports cars heading his way at over 120 mph. He then relayed, “and you’re not going to believe this, but there’s a cyclist behind them ringing his bell to pass!”.

A True Cyclists Mind

A cyclist shows up for a group ride on a new carbon speed machine.

“Hey, where did you get the new ride?”, asks one of the group.

“Well,” he says, “I was out on a ride when this really hot chick rode up alongside. We got to talking and one thing led to another and we stopped at a park. She suddenly stripped all of her clothes off and said, ‘take what you want’, so I took the bike.”

“Good thing too,” said the friend, “the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”

Customs

A cyclist was stopped by customs. “What’s in the bags?”, asked the officer, pointing to his panniers. “Sand,” said the cyclist. “let me take a look”, said the cop. The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, refilled the bags, and continued across the border.
A week later, the same thing happened, and continued every week for a year, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear.
A few months later, the cop saw the cyclist living it up downtown. “You sure had us foxed”, said the cop. “We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won’t say a word – but what was it you were smuggling? ….. “Bicycles!”